Friday, December 9, 2016

How to Stay Warm (and Survive) on a Snow Day

We woke up to SNOW this morning!

It's not a lot of snow, but if you live in Western Washington, it's officially referred to as "A Snowpacalypse."

The kids are pretty stoked, especially since school was canceled, something I discovered via text at o'dark hundred, and the kids discovered when that mysterious internal alarm kids are born with woke them up at 5a.m. I wonder if there's a way to reset the factory settings for kids' inner alarms? School day - wake up early. Day off - sleep in. Mine are confused.

I really hate dragging out of bed to see to all the animals in the mornings, but these freezing mornings of late have been the absolute worst, at least for me; none of the critters really seem that put out by the chill.

 Mal doesn't really mind the early morning snowfall,
probably due to owning such a nice, woolly fur coat.

There really isn't actually that much snow,
and it's already melting off.

 The girls are thoroughly unimpressed, though. This may
be the least amount of noise I've ever heard from them.
They seem to be in shock... I can relate.
Early morning + below freezing = no bueno! 

I think this leftover bit of pumpkin may be done for.

 So in light of Snowmageddon 2016, may I present...

 How to Stay Warm
Brought to you by the birds of 7 Tree Farm.

Option 1) Snuggle up with a friend. Better, snuggle up
with two friends, and make sure you're in the middle.
More better, have your friends wrap their wings over you.
Most better, jump into your friend's arms, and demand
they carry you into the house where the heater is on
instead of letting them leave you out in the barn in a
smelly, old dog kennel.

Option 2) Find something warm and insulating, like hay,
blankets, or a down jacket, to hunker down in. Make sure
there is nothing offensive in your chosen insulation,
like poop, bugs, or pokey sticks. In the case of poo
or sticks, remove them. In the case of bugs,
eat them quickly before someone else does. 

Option 3) Hunker down, and floof yerself.
Trapping your body heat is a great way to stay warm.
Use your feathers, or find one of those inflatable t-rex
costumes to keep your body heat from escaping into the
frigid night air. These are available from several online
retailers, and if ordered now, will arrive in time for
Christmas (hint, hint).

Option 4) Be fierce. You are a strong and powerful chicken.
You are the mighty descendent of the mighty dinosaur.
Snow trembles before you. Your unblinking fierceness
stares cold weather in the face and laughs.
(Not literally.) Figuratively, you are laughing at this
cold, petulant weather. You crow in triumph as the
snow turns to rain in its elemental terror.
What are you worried about?
You are the Chuck Norris of the Chookery.

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